Life
is a mix of bliss and torment. We cannot distance ourselves from the distresses
as it demonstrates lovely first light of joy afterwards. Satisfaction and
torment are the opposite sides of a coin. If I’m asked I would say - it’s being
wise from afflictions.
My
parents got married in their early teenage of 10-12 years old in 1960s. Four
sisters, a brother all elders to me constituted my family. Desire for son
resulted in large family but with less opportunity to school and nutritious
food whereas more of experience to hardships.
We
grew vegetables and my father used to sell them to distant markets to make a
little more income. My father’s loud voice used to be our morning alarm at 3am
and we hit towards market. I could still reminisce how hard it was to push the
vegetable-loaded bicycle in uphill and graveled road in the dark. Sometimes my
toes used to bleed, toes’ nail used to come off when I hit thorny stones on the
road. I used to overcome the pain just for the reward i.e. hot noodles, my
father used to lure me with it to help him push his bicycle. We reach the market
at just sunrise copiously fatigued. My mom and I shared a beautiful bonding.
The enlarging cracks on her feet were proofs of her hard work and dedication
for us. I accompanied her to collect firewood and fodder for our cows from
forest. After all hardships, we had to eat dinner on banana leaf as we could
not afford enough plates. My parents hid everything with their smiling face and
my clay-like brain could not realize it then.
Not
only our bellies were half-filled but also our barren brains. Patriarchy
prevailed in our family and was against higher education. My siblings gave up
on their dreams after secondary level education and got married. Amid rainy
days, I used to remove my uniform, wrap my books with it, affix on my head and
used to cross the flooded way completely stripped to reach school while
sometimes on banana boat. My whole schooling period was not easygoing for me as
only mother was cheering for my education. I was in grade eight when she passed
away, I was forsaken.
Now,
I had to cook, complete all morning chores and go to school. Tears rolled down
my cheeks often remembering all beautiful memories I had shared with my mother.
After two years, I graduated from high school being the highest scorer of all
times. The fame and respect my father received from teachers, neighbors changed
his perception towards education completely.
Meanwhile
my brother was working as a laborer in another city. My high school supported
me for my senior high school economically. My father started seeing a future
doctor in me. Despite of his old age, he resumed working hard again to earn
some money for my higher studies. "My profit probably won't help you much
however it can surely act as a brick in a foundation” he used to state. My
throat was deterred and just tears pursued my cheeks towards ground.
Today
I’m an aspiring cancer research scientist because of my mother, father and
brother. I miss him so much. I always took the sacrifices, sufferings and pain
of my siblings and parents as source of my inspiration. When I came to Tzu chi
university I felt like home seeing and being motivated by Jing Si aphorisms on
walls in photos. “Affliction can be meaningful when we can grow wise from it”
personally touched me and forced me to recollect my past and motivate others.
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