【第六屆】106學年度靜思語與我的生命故事徵文比賽_佳作_華語中心_Jennifer鄧燕妮_Being a Filial Daughter

How can a child not love their own parents? In fact, the parents have given their love to the child? But in this life, there are things unexplainable. I love my father a lot, but not my mother. Even though my mother is the one who take care us her children the most, but I don't know why my love for her is not as great as my love for my father. And it got worse after the passing of my father. I put the blame on my mother for making my Dad’s life unhappy, just because I saw her too demanding to my father. This is my own opinion, of course, but this kind of feeling keeps fulfilling my heart and mind. As the result, I often quarrel with my mother and not obeying her words. I become a bad daughter to her. I even often thinking to live far from her. I may not hate my mother, but I also cannot give my love to her.

In 2009, I have a chance to join the Indonesian Tzu Chi as volunteer. Ever since then, I keep noticing this Jing Si Aphorism by Master Cheng Yen: “There are two things in the world that cannot be postponed: first is to be filial, and second is to do good” (世上有两件事不能等一是孝順，二是行善). At first, I didn’t have any special attention or feelings to this Jing Si Aphorism even though this aphorism is the most talked and used during my volunteering activity in Tzu Chi. Until one day I saw the DAAI drama about a wife who is very patient to his husband, even though the husband has treated her bad. I remember when her friend asked this woman why she can be that patient and treat her husband good, this woman said that maybe she has done something bad to her husband in their past life, and in this life, she need to pay her debt to him. She doesn’t want to continue make a new debt to her husband, so that’s why she accepts all the bad treatment from her husband with a grateful heart. This drama is like opening my heart. As a Buddhist, I understand that we all bounded by karmic relations. Why I can be a daughter of my mother, it is for sure because of the karmic relation, either it is good or bad. After seeing this drama, when once again I see this Jing Si Aphorism: “There are two things in the world that cannot be postponed: first is to be filial, and second is to do good”, I started to think and put a deep contemplation. Why Master Cheng Yen saying this aphorism? Why the first should be to be filial? My mother and I may have debt each other, and non-good relationship in our past life, but whatever it is, it maybe just my own thinking and it is just a past, I shouldn’t think about it. I should live in the present moment. And it is fact, that my mother had carried me in her womb for about nine months, she even put her life in danger while giving birth to me. She lost her beauty, her own health, time and everything to take care and raising me, her only daughter. She had given me a healthy body that I should be grateful for. With all this sacrifice, I realize even being filial not enough to pay her back. Since then I try to treat my mother good, and being a filial daughter. I know I still far of being filial, but I feel grateful that I have a chance to try my best to be a good daughter until my mother’s last breath. It is true that there are two things in the world that cannot be postponed: first is to be filial, yes, because you don’t have enough time to be grateful for the life that your parents gave you.  And the second is to do good, because who will know how long someone’s life? When will you die and leave this world. You need to do good to make a good karmic relation, so your life will be meaningful and leave no regret. I feel grateful that this Jing Si Aphorism has changed my life, and left no remorse in me for not being filial to my mother. I grateful for Master Cheng Yen whose remind me through this aphorism. 感恩上人…