2021年4月26日 星期一

【第九屆】109學年度靜思語與我的生命故事徵文比賽_第一名_人發心系一年級_Nyam Zhi Yee_Many seek illumination by lighting up a lamp when the true light is within

     Jing Si Aphorisms analogize and enlighten realities to nourish the spirit and the mind of many. The verbatim of Master Cheng Yen’s wisdom, “Many seek illumination by lighting up a lamp when the true light is within”, has brought great significance to my wellbeing as it emphasizes believing in myself. The importance of self-esteem is socially underrated. Nowadays, the conversations about having confidence lack the awareness and need for one to regard themselves in the highest esteem. Most people like my past self tend to be confined in the void of worthlessness and hence unknowingly chase recognition from others to feel contented with themselves.

 

Throughout my life, I struggled to accept myself and would seek external validation through social media, peers and external beauty. This in turn strayed me into a deeper void of worthlessness and facade. I would post the best sides of my life on social platforms and anticipate positive comments about my post and looks. It was immediate gratification for a short while. My ego was boosted and I felt like I was under the spotlight showered with love and attention. However, it slowly became detrimental for my health as the incessant need to fit into the social standards of being pretty and skinny made me unsatisfied with what I was born with. I would starve myself, recklessly spend my money on trendy items and change my looks to

impress people and not myself. I slipped into a persona that fed into a deceptive euphoria. I desired popularity and to be respected by others that I forgot that I had to respect myself first.

 

Until one day when I stumbled upon the mentioned quote in a Tzu Chi building, I had a sudden inclination towards the adage. I was able to feel a connection between its meaning and my situation. The words used were simplistic yet profound which made me gravitate to its presence. I love how the phrase inaugurated with “illumination”, and knowing illumination is not from a direct light source demonstrates how the validation from others is not as powerful as the “light from within”. The use of “light” as the true potential of our inner self foils the craving for others’ acceptance.

 

The selected aphorism is empowering because it gave me the epiphany to pull through my darkest hours. It helped me realize the toxicity I encased myself in and allowed me to break the venomous cycle. Moreover, it showed how much I underestimated myself for my own happiness. I began to take a long hiatus from social media and expand my hobbies to ignite my true self. Although the process is not instantaneous, I am gradually improving with the help of other Jing Si aphorisms. In retrospect, encountering that wise phrase was a turning point in my life. Though the saying is constructed by words, it has a pivotal influence that shifts my mentality from an attention addict to a humble individual. I am privileged to have come across the aphorism at an earlier age to assist in my wellbeing and guide me to an insightful journey. Not only has it taught me to respect myself but proved to me that words have the power to change us.

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