Jing Si Aphorisms analogize and enlighten realities to
nourish the spirit and the mind of many. The
verbatim of Master Cheng Yen’s wisdom, “Many seek illumination by lighting up a
lamp when the
true light is within”, has brought great significance to my wellbeing as it
emphasizes
believing in myself. The importance of self-esteem is socially underrated.
Nowadays, the
conversations about having confidence lack the awareness and need for one to
regard
themselves in the highest esteem. Most people like my past self tend to be
confined in the void of
worthlessness and hence unknowingly chase recognition from others to feel
contented with themselves.
Throughout my life, I struggled to accept myself and
would seek external validation through social
media, peers and external beauty. This in turn strayed me into a deeper void of
worthlessness
and facade. I would post the best sides of my life on social platforms and
anticipate
positive comments about my post and looks. It was immediate gratification for a
short
while. My ego
was boosted and I felt like I was under the spotlight showered with love and
attention.
However, it slowly became detrimental for my health as the incessant need to
fit into the social standards of being pretty and skinny made me
unsatisfied with what I was born with. I
would starve
myself, recklessly spend my money on trendy items and change my looks to
impress people
and not myself. I slipped into a persona that fed into a deceptive euphoria. I
desired
popularity and to be respected by others that I forgot that I had to respect
myself first.
Until one day when I stumbled upon the mentioned quote in
a Tzu Chi building, I had a sudden
inclination towards the adage. I was able to feel a connection between its
meaning and my situation. The words used were simplistic yet profound
which made me gravitate to its presence. I
love how the phrase inaugurated with “illumination”, and knowing illumination
is not from a direct light source demonstrates how the
validation from others is not as powerful as the
“light from
within”. The use of “light” as the true potential of our inner self foils the
craving for others’ acceptance.
The selected aphorism is empowering because it gave me
the epiphany to pull through my darkest
hours. It helped me realize the toxicity I encased myself in and allowed me to
break
the venomous
cycle. Moreover, it showed how much I underestimated
myself for my own happiness. I
began to take a long hiatus from social media and expand my hobbies to ignite
my
true self.
Although the process is not instantaneous,
I am gradually improving with the help of
other Jing Si
aphorisms. In retrospect, encountering that wise phrase was a turning point in
my
life. Though
the saying is constructed by words, it has a pivotal influence that shifts my
mentality from
an attention addict to a humble individual. I am privileged to have come across
the aphorism at
an earlier age to assist in my wellbeing and guide me to an insightful journey.
Not only has it
taught me to respect myself but proved to me that words have the power to
change us.
